he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
