i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Randomize
