We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
tell your sister to shave her snatch
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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