i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
