Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I'm at about main and main street
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
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