8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
