So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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