I'm jealous of your bromance
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
