we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Randomize
