He is such a slut. More and more my type.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize