i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
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