Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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