i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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