Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
