Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
This is my gift to your gina
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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