Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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