sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
