In America we eat man semen.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
cat food counts as protein by the way
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
