Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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