We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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