he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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