i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
