First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
