I'm really into asian looking animals
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
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