He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Randomize
