dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
