I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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