dude i'm inner monologue high
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
50% drunk capacity currently
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Randomize
