You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
