i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
It's official drugs can't kill me
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
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