do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
