You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I need to stop coming to work sober
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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