My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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