Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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