Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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