shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Boobs are out for the taking
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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