she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
