but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
He? As in you personified your dick?
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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