Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
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