Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
