Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
