No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
