how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
How does it feel to date your dad?
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Randomize
