its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
