Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
