I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Just pee around me
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
