i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
