Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
