if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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