so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
