well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
