Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
