i was born a porn star she said
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
