Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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