What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
